So this might be my first...

So this might be my first nutrition related post.  Other than the occasional post on weird things that happen to me during my internship I haven't written to much on the topic that I am choosing to spend the rest of my life studying.  Right now is different though.  Enter nutrition related post:

So I was sitting around bored during my internship today (future employers- you didn't hear that).  The topic of the rotation I'm currently doing is diabetes or the 'beetus for you Wilford Brimley fans.

Quick refresher on diabetes; it's a chronic illness that presents in a few different ways.  It effects the way that your body absorbs and uses the energy you get from food.  All food gives you energy, but food specifically in the form of carbs (bread, rice, cereal, pasta, fruit, and sugar) turns to sugar in your blood. Type I diabetes is when something happens early in life to signal your body to attack the cells in your pancreas that produce insulin.  No insulin = food that you eat doesn't enter your cells. Now it can't be used as energy and stays in your blood which raise blood sugar.  With me?  Type II can be caused by a number of different risk factors; age, weight, race, family history, inactivity.. blah, blah, boring dietitian stuff.  Either way Type II is when these factors cause your cells to become resistant to insulin made by the pancreas.  This forces the pancreas it to create more and more to the point that it eventually gets pooped and stops making as much.  Diabetes can be discovered at any point along this physiology and is a dangerous and difficult disease.  People with diabetes go through a lot when they first realize they have it.  Classes on carb counting.  Classes on blood glucose readings.  Classes on insulin delivery methods.  Kids can even go to special diabetes camp to learn how to live with it.  I've seen patients that finally got the hang of it after 20 years of battling.  20 years.  Not only is it life changing but it can also be scary.  If your blood sugar is too high for to long you can destroy your eyes, feet, heart and kidneys.  If it's to low you can faint and even fall into a coma.  So basically if you are insulin resistant or have diabetes and have it under tight control give yourself a pat on the back.  If you don't I can refer you to some dietitians I know...

So I'm at my rotation today dreaming of the 'beetus and I had a realization.  Diabetes is the Earth's way of getting back at human for treating it so badly!  Human treat Earth like a giant BM, we all know that.  We ravage resources for our own consumption with little regard as to who or what it will affect years in the future.  Well I think that Saturn and Mercury, as concerned friends of Earth's probably staged an intervention. After all cave men are like the marijuana of evolution and modern humans are the heroine.

Voice over (probably Morgan Freman): Earth has been struggling with it's human addiction now for thousands and thousands of years.  If it doesn't get better, the humans will destroy him.  Earth's closest friends and family have gathered to stage an intervention.

*Curtain opens on Saturn and Mercury sitting in a living room.  The year is 12,000 BC, before modern agriculture was on the map. Venus, the Moon, Uranus and Pluto are also there.  There is an 'INTERVENTION' banner hanging up in the background.*

Saturn

'Earth, we're all here today because we love you and Sun couldn't make it back from vacation in time.'

Mercury

'Yeah man, we love you and we hate to see you destroying yourself like this.'

Earth

 *somewhat annoyed*

'Look guys, I've got control of this, I'm just going to let the humans be here a few thousand more years... they promised they wouldn't evolve any further than this and they don't even have domesticated crops yet!'

Saturn

'Dude, you're letting them start fires and take advantage of your floods... it's only a matter of time before they are flying around you and tearing down your trees'

Everyone

*in mumbled concern*

'yeah Earth, yeah, yeah, you have control over the humans, don't let them take advantage of you!'

Earth

'... I suppose you're right *deep breath* I don't have control over the humans. *starts to feel better* Wow! That feels great to say! I guess the first step is admitting it.  Ok! What do I have to do??'

Enter Wilford Brimley

Wilford

'Ok Earth, what we're going to ask you to do is not going to be simple.  It's not going to be easy. You are going to have to work very hard at it, for a long time...'

Earth

*with a shaky voice*
'I think I can do it... with all of your help of course...'

Wilford

'Alright, the first thing I want you do to is let them plant their crops during the flood season'

Everyone

*Gasp*

Pluto

'But that means, agriculture, domestication, technology! The mind boggles with what they could come up with!'

Wilford

'I know it's a risky move. But if we can get them to settle into one area and plant in the same spot year after year, we'll have a chance.  After we lure them into thinking this is a safer way to live... then, we introduce to them wheat!'

Earth

'Wheat? But how's that going to help my human addiction, isn't it just going to feed them?'

Wilford

'Well, I'll tell ya, humans love wheat, and it can be a great nutrient for them!  But human don't have the will power you planets do.  They won't be able to control their consumption and they will eat to the point of self extinction. '

Earth

'You mean to say, I provide them with the tools and they will cause their own extinction?'

Wilford

'Precisley!'

Earth

'But what will be call the disease that they get from the inability to store the wheat they are eating?'

Wilford

'Well we'll just have to call that the DIAAAABEETUS'

Earth
'There's got to be anther way!'

Wilford
 *Slams fist on table in frustration*
'THERE IS NO OTHER WAY!!'
*starts to calm down, takes a deeps breath*
'Look, Earth, you're a good planet, and I hate to see the humans ravage you like this, and just imagine your future... this is the only weapon we have against them, they are already to strong...'

Earth

'Well.. I don't know..'

Mercury

'Oh come on Earth! Don't be such an oxygen producer!'

Uranus

'Yeah, Earth, you have 2 choices, kills off the humans slowly over time with the only resource you have... or let them continue to evolve and destroy everything you have worked so long to create...'

Moon

'Yeah Earth, what's it going to be??'

...
you get the picture.  Mercury and Saturn are bullies and obviously this is a dramatization but if we don't do something the human race is doomed to a slow and painful sugar extinction.  Or as we, in 'the biz' like to call it the diabeetus.