So a little advice...

So a little advice about going to the grocery store:

1) Make yourself a list. The amount of time I've spent in the chips and salsa aisle debating over peach salsa versus mango is ridiculous.  And don't even get me started on ice cream flavors...

and 2) Keep your head down. I'm not saying you should avert eyes due to your appearance, I'm saying to avert them due to others.  When I'm doing mundane activities such going to the grocery store or taking the city bus in a city with a very interesting homeless culture (which I was forced to do this past weekend due to a little breakdown in the battery of my car), I can't help myself but you come up with stories for the people around me to occupy my mind with something.  For example, the guy in front of me in the bakery section of the store that looks like a skinny santa clause is definitely the heir to some fortune off shore and he's just waiting for his brother to die in a russian prison so that he can cash it in and ditch his job doing mortgage taxes to take off on his newly purchased private helicopter to Hawaii to live out the rest of his life spending his mornings clamming down at the beach and returning for afternoon snack of oreos and his daily cribbage game. But that's just a guess.

Unfortunately for the guy with the big beats by dre headphones and ray bans hanging off of his tank top at the gym (even though that's a completely ridiculous place for them because, you know, you could drop your super heavy weights onto them while you are bench pressing. Not that it would matter cause, bro? you got the weight up) that I see while I'm just trying to enjoy a casual ride on the stationary bike; he is home on break from school across the country in Long Beach and while he's home he's blacked out with his friends like 5 times and the past time he slipped and fell on the ice and twisted his ankle.  So now when he goes back to school in a few weeks he won't be able to take the ball to the hoop during the 3on3 basketball tournament he and his friends are signed up for. But who am I to judge.

Now don't even get me started on the dude in the car in front of me on the highway on the way home from work.  He's got to get home faster than usual today since his bid war on eBay for the last piece of equipment he needs for the machine he invented and is building that actually turns lemonade into ice tea, is almost over. And if he loses the bid war it will set him back at least 6 months.  The only problem is that he's had chicken in the crock pot for the past 10 hours while he was out ice climbing and he's got to remember to check on it to make sure it's not over done, but when he gets in the zone about the Lemon2Teaerator there is no pulling him out of it.  He's gone on 3 day benders before, forgetting to eat and sleep all while trying to figure out the calculations for this silly machine that his wife can barely believe she puts up with.

2b) If your going to look up at the people around you I don't suggest looking at women first. Whenever I come up with a story for them it always ends up bitchy and materialistic and, I just, can't.


That's all for now, in the mean time here's me at age 2 with pudding all over my face: